Hi everyone! I have been truly touched by the hundreds of emails and messages I have received from other single mothers! I absolutely love hearing all of your stories and am truly humbled that so many of you look to me for advice. I WISH I could respond to each and every one of you…but you have all inspired me to get a little personal and write this little message to all of you.
I became a single mother when Kinsley was barely two and Charlie was a newborn. My parents moved halfway across the country to St Louis 6 months prior, I was trying to lose the 40 pounds I gained during pregnancy, still breastfeeding and throwing a pity party for myself while living in a family friends house in Malibu. Meanwhile, their father was dating multiple girls he was meeting on Tinder, became a regular at the local bars and was going on trips to Vegas with his friends every other weekend. I remember thinking it was so unfair that he could just break up our family and then go back to living his life the way he did pre-children while my world completely revolved around them. Finding someone new was the last thing on my mind. 2 months after we moved out, I still hadn’t filed for divorce yet because it was too much of a mission to go to the courthouse with the babies. I had my hands FULL (& that’s an understatement). I actually remember getting a text from my (probably drunk) ex that read: “you can’t divorce me… you’ll be 25 & divorced with two kids…no one will ever want you!” (HA! How do you feel about that now, buddy?! ? side note: you’re never stuck!) On top of being overwhelmed and extremely angry, I felt guilty and blamed myself for not giving my kids the life I had always dreamed of giving them. I felt so much guilt that they were growing up with not only parents who weren’t together, but parents who couldn’t get along, not even for their sake. I quickly realized that so many of the things I worried about and felt guilty over were out of my control. I decided instead of being embarrassed of my failed marriage and ashamed of being a single mother, I was going to OWN it. Being the best mother you can be and giving your kids the BEST life possible has nothing to do with your relationship status and you don’t have to be happily married to have a “picture perfect family.” In all honesty, the two and a half years I’ve spent as a single mom were the best years of my entire life. I learned so much about myself as a mother and as a person. I’ve created the MOST special bond with Kinsley and Charlie. They’re my best friends. I am so proud of everything we have been through together and even more proud of who they have grown into as individuals. Going on the show, I was hoping (but not expecting) to find someone, not to complete me, but to add more love and happiness to mine and the girls lives. I found that with Josh! I feel like the absolute luckiest girl in the world to have met someone like him (even in the craziest of ways). He truly loves Kinsley and Charlie like they’re his own and they adore him right back. He is hands down the most loving, patient and understanding person I have ever met. He reminds me everyday of what’s really important in life and keeps me in check when I start to forget. He is a better person than me, that’s for sure. I’m not sure what I did to deserve someone like him. He is our angel! I didn’t think men like Josh even existed, but I’m telling you first hand that they do! Never settle and be patient because your “Josh” is out there somewhere! 😉 We are so excited to start this new chapter in our lives as a family but the memories I have of just the three of us girls are memories I will love and cherish forever and ever! Embrace it! ?